what to do... i need...something. hmm...

anyhoot, chemlec and microbio quiz tom. il be studying after dinner. hopefully i wont fall asleep. someone wake me up please.

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i don't want to sleep. bad dreams. nightmares. i had one last night about me...and my friend.
it started with me, having a death toll--i was going to die in less than a week. within that week i got to talk to everyone. said my goodbyes. clear everything. made amends. i was supposed to look on the brightside of being able to get in touch with everyone i know, but there was something nagging me while i was saying goodbye. i wasn't able to talk to a dear friend coz we had a misunderstanding and i haven't told that person yet that i'll die in a few days. until it came to the day before the dreaded one, i approached the person and said sorry...only to be brushed off. i was left alone... then a change of scene. it was the day. i didn't want to die sad, but i was crying the whole time til my last breath. (cliched words..i know.) having not to talk to that person hurts more than dying..
when i woke up, i was crying too. and by the looks of my pillow, on how wet it was, i was crying the whole time too. i desperately needed a hug after that..

i had a bad morning coz i woke up at around 3.30 am. i couldn't sleep after that. i didn't want to. coz the dream might continue (which always happens to me) and i would end up getting sad again. i don't want that to happen...


hopefully no bad dreams tonight.

keep me safe.