my blog is back. i'm back.

i've put it on private mode for a couple of weeks just to let someone see something. i have no idea if it was read or not. but it was there. i really have no clue.

for the past few weeks, i was left out. maybe the mistake i did was making a shell too tough, that i didn't want anyone get too close. that i showed to much independence that they wouldn't have to care for me at all. so when i do get hurt, no one would care when all i wanted was a simple hug. others get it for free, even without experienceing pain. but i get to settle with nothing. now it adds to my problems and makes it hurt even more. but still i have to keep this to myself. i don't want to be selfish by telling someone all my problems and end up making them sad too. my friends already look happy so i'll just smile with them.


if i could sum up all the causes of hurt, pain and hatred in one word, it's just expectation.