there are more than a dozen thoughts running in my mind right now but somehow i can't get the right words to say them all.

one of my closest friends will be leaving. a part of the tropa might not come back. and here i am, trying to hold on to whatever's left of a missed friendship..

i tried to shove all the news at the back of my mind just so i can focus on my studies. (and i can't say i did an excellent job at it) but now that classes are over, everything just dawned on me. add personal problems to that and i'm all set for a breakdown. good thing that one night during exam week was contained at some point. thank you. tama ka, palaban parin dapat ako. hindi pwede maging weak. not now.

no more wishful thinking. reality check nalang lagi. wag nyo lang ako sabihan ng "ganyan talaga ang buhay". ayaw ko. nakakainis.

life is just starting to turn into a trainwreck and all the bolts are turning loose.