impede your mind

2009-02-25T11:42:00.002+08:00

graduation is on the 27th of March. wow.

4th year college life = SACRIFICE
yep. i sacrificed a lot. this and that and.. well, a lot. but generally, i'm happy. :)
really. speechless after everything that has happened. more like a whirlwind of events.

to everyone. thank you and sorry for the lost time.

2008-11-16T19:47:00.000+08:00

wow..

i'm numb

2008-11-01T18:17:00.000+08:00

Justin Go. wag makulit!

2008-10-23T01:03:00.000+08:00

one word that would sum up everything that i'm feeling right now:

*OUCH*

2008-09-06T22:34:00.000+08:00

i'm too happy and i don't want confusion to get in the way. nakakainis lang.

be positive daw. and i got to look at things in a different way. thanks to M. thank you. your outlook in life helped me. again, thanks. :)

2008-08-14T23:50:00.000+08:00

there is a difference between giving up and letting go..

letting go is sacrificing what was rightfully yours..

giving up is forgetting what was never yours..

ops! wala ako dyan. no comment muna. pero meron parin meaning. let's leave it at that nalang.

*lovin' the Olympics!

2008-07-30T23:03:00.000+08:00

i'm waaay beyond the thinking phase.

i'm sooo ready it hurts.

why do i keep on wanting the people i can't have?

but i tried. truthfully tried. i don't want to give it my all kung wala rin naman patutunguhan..

but if the whole world and even nature is against me.. then i won't fight back..

hindi ko naman ipagpipilitan ang sarili ko.

2008-07-26T20:38:00.000+08:00

maybe this letting go thing wasn't as easy as i thought.

2008-07-22T22:11:00.001+08:00

just when i was starting to feel more...

and start thinking--knowing that it will work... that i'm up for fighting for it..

you gave me a reason to let go...

so there.. i'm letting go.

2008-06-14T19:36:00.000+08:00

Another school year. i thought it might be a good time to blog again.

to start off... a song.

Cold[lay - Lost

Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I will cross

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I've tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one
And you'll be lost

Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the firing starts
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off…

2008-01-06T22:59:00.000+08:00

see how bored i am...

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

anyhoo...

recap for the day...
morning.. woke up at 7. breakfast.movie.read.write.bathe.research.--lunch *pretty much the same. not being very productive again.
afternoon.. fun starts. fixed my stuff. went back to the dorm. went to Trinoma then SM North with D. helped him find something for K. pretty cool trip. got back around 8pm. stayed in school for a few minutes. dinner with D, M and N. hung out. kwento. pics with N. his new phone. aaand that was it. i'm beside L right now who's busy with minor subjects. D left his pack of chocnuts here. yes.. just the pack. no more chocnuts. i was supposed to throw it away. hmm.. what else.. everything is pretty much the same.

xs : i realized just now that there is a 1" hole on my shirt. on the left armpit. hahahaha. funny. ever the dugyot.

xxs : lets not mention names in this blog anymore. sooo.. i decided to do this ala gossip girl with all the first letters. well.. the book did give me an idea and kudos to the show!

2008-01-05T17:04:00.000+08:00

INCUBUS

March 9, 2008, Sunday

"i can be singing a heart-wrenching song and at the same time thinking about soy cheese..."

-brandon boyd-

hahaha. wouldn't miss this for the world. Patron seats!!!!! sabi ni kuya sa stage kami uupo. sa paa ni brandon! i'm setting a countdown for this. plus im hoping to meet them in person. at least get a cd signed or take a picture with them. EXCITED!!!

2008-01-05T11:03:00.000+08:00

time for a change of pace.

2008-01-02T13:17:00.000+08:00

i miss Bora.

2007-12-28T20:28:00.000+08:00

2007 Questions

1. Did you fall in love?
|| nope.idontreallyknow

2. Did you get any new best friends?
|| yes. a set of them.

3. Did you start dis-liking some one?
|| nope. no one

4. Did you get your heart broken?
|| Nopenotreally.

5. If you could change some thing about this past year, what would it be?
|| IF i could.

6. Are you happy of how things turned out?
|| ... Not exactly haha. :)

7. Did you get any tattoos? Where and what of?
|| nope. not really planning to

8. Did you get any thing pierced? Where?
|| too many piercings already

9. What's your new favorite color(s)?
|| samesame. redbluewhiteblack.

10. Did you do any thing life changing?
|| Uh...

11. Favorite piece of clothing?
|| does the ipanema slippers count? thanks marc!

12. Did you go to any parties?
|| yeap. lots.

13. Did you have any surgeries?
|| nextyearmaybe.

14. Do you like our president?
|| she's okay. like the-lesser-evil-okay

15. Do you support our troops?
|| Um...

16. Were you in the relay for life?
|| Was I?

17. Did you get engaged/married?
|| I haven't peaked yet. so...no.

18.
|| *blank stare*

19. What's your favorite thing (s) you got for Christmas this year?
|| the "WOEH" shirt, ipanema slippers. plus socks and chocolates! woopi!

20. What's the thing you want the most this year for Christmas?
|| de-cluttering! :p

21. Has any body you loved passed away?
|| goodthingnone.

22. How's school going so far?
|| ....

23. Did you get any pets this year?
|| weeell we got a hamster for 500 pesos. the Russian one. and can even fit in my pocket.

24. Did you have any "new" members added to your family?
|| Hamstie!

25. What's your favorite song?
|| i have one?

26. Who's your favorite band?
|| incubus

27. Favorite person in your family?
|| everyone

28. Have you had a job?
|| it's not really a job coz i don't get paid.

29. Have you been arrested?
|| Nope.

30. Have you been in trouble?
|| Seriously in trouble? Loads of times this year.

31. Have you thought about suicide/murder?
|| Hmm...

32. Are you emo?
|| Finding Emo!

33. Favorite trend of the year?
|| *blank stare*

34. What decade do you wish you could live in?
|| I'm fie with 'now'

36. Do you have a crush on someone?
|| does celebrity crush count?

37. Favorite quote/saying?
|| oh loads.

38. New Year's resolution?
|| Don't make the same mistakes again.

2007-12-21T15:47:00.000+08:00

just gotta put this here.

nov. 19, 2007. another Sleepless Paskuhan. (as in walang tulugan) missed the fireworks tho. tambay kwento til 5.30am breakfast at mcdo. aaaand. that's it. hindi nman kami masyado nagbonding ni nis. hindeee.

last na. i've been doing too much shopping. the people at tiendesitas know me already coz i was there last night and i went back just this morning. it's 4pm. i'm at home. but who says i'm not going out again later? :p

.lalabs.

2007-11-17T18:02:00.000+08:00

there comes a point in your life when you're officially an adult. suddenly you're old enough to vote, drink and engage in other adult activities. suddenly people expect you to be responsible. serious. all grown up. we get taller, we get older. but do we ever really grow up?

in some ways we grow up. we have families, we get married, we get separated. but for the most part, we still have the same problems we did when we were 15. no matter how much we grow taller, grow older, we are still forever stumbling. forever wondering. forever young.

i'll greet myself a happy birthday when i get what i've been wanting for for the past few months. but i know it's never that easy. it's never as simple as what some would expect.

for my birthday.. i want 'de-cluttering'. wait scratch that. i need 'de-cluttering'.

i am a coward. i admit to that. let the pride go down. i.dont.care.

2007-11-15T17:28:00.000+08:00

a week and a half. i'm not complaining. it's been a good week. not too hectic. not quite what i expected. but it was good. contentedly good. some things are the same. some changed. different.

i watched good luck chuck and got this insane idea. seriously. i checked... bka naman it works for me too! hahahaha okay. back to reality. just kidding.. pero malay mo.... :p

yeah. i admit. i'm being veeery secretive for the past few days. seeecreeet kung bakit! :p

red. kung nasaan ka man... movie tomorrow.. sorry. cant go. nagpromise na kasi ako sa isang 'thing' bukas eh.. :( pero gsto ko talaga manood Beowulf. sabi na kahapon dapat eh! next time talaga. pramissss.

. . . .

2007-11-04T11:08:00.000+08:00

this was a happy sembreak. a fun, happy, steady sembreak. alaykit.

this is going to be my last entry for the sembreak. so why not cap it all off with a pathetic survey from trusty friendster? :p

A Vegetable
- pumpkin

An Animal
- a siberian tiger or an albino python

A Fruit
- mango

A Color
- red

A Household Object
- teevee

Articl e of Clothing
- a polo shirt.

A Drink
- green mango shake

A Famous Person
- richard nixon

A Film Character
- lara croft

A Cartoon Character
- the untalkative bunny! haha

A Car
- hummer x3

A City
- manila

A Country
- Philippines

A Mythical Creature
- a Lamia.

A Chocolate Bar
- any dark chocolate will do

A Book
- the catcher in the rye

A Sport
- basketball

A Word
- the

One of Your Family
- myself

--------------til the next entry------ takuyaki for me later---------

LaLAbS

2007-11-03T22:11:00.000+08:00

this is not considered as "namamangka" diba? diba?

i can fix other people's problems but can't fix mine.. i guess i'll forever be the girl-next-door.

2007-10-31T09:56:00.000+08:00

nakakalungkot naman.

actually this is true. i watched the whole piece and you can really see moves from the allstars and blueprint. it's just sad. the allstars worked hard so the filipino dance community can truly be recognized yet here comes some people who are just too lazy to make their own choreography. don't get me wrong, they've got talent. they really do. but PLEASE think of your own choreo. it's simply releasing your creativity and expressing yourself through your dance. don't create a piece for the sake of winning. do it for yourself and the dude up above. He gave you the skills and i think He's pretty much expecting you to use it right.

Dance with the music. Dance with the beat of your heart.

2007-10-30T23:56:00.000+08:00

going out is turning into a normal occurence for me. lemme see... in the whole 2 weeks since the end of classes, i've stayed at home (the whole day) for about.. 3 days? and im not saying in three consecutive days. staying put in the house is turning out to be a dilemma coz with everyone here at home, they could just ask me to go with them and afterwards i'd find myself going on a roadtrip or mallhopping. plus there's going out with some people too of course but good thing it only involves a squishy chair, some popcorn and a free movie.

i guess this makes up for the supposed to be diving trip. maybe that's why my parents are letting me go out all the time with no questions asked. whatever. i still tell them where i go and who i go out with anyway. at least they'll know, right. plus i've been reunited with my phone. cool.
---------------------------------------anyhoo-------------

sembreak dork update :
read 6 books. just started on the 7th. 1 pugadbaboy. finished crosswords. guitar hero. done a bit of reviewing (i have no idea why) aaaaaand... keeping updated on the current events.

-----------------------------------dork--------------------

2007-10-20T00:35:00.000+08:00

Forgive and forget. that's what they say. it's good advice but it's not very practical. when someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. when someone wrongs us, we want to be right. without forgivenes, old scores are never be settled. old wounds never heal. and the most we can hope for is that one day, we'll be lucky enough to forget.

------------------------------------------------

what happened today is beyond evil. when i heard the news, my mind instantly thought of six people. i texted them and asked where they were at that time and thankfully everyone replied after a few minutes except for one. i don't know why i asked them but i just thought i had to. i needed to. i was worried. i had to text the last person twice just so i can stop bad thoughts from running in my mind. dammit. i was worried the whole time until i got a reply. i just want everyone to be safe..

2007-10-17T18:48:00.000+08:00

there are more than a dozen thoughts running in my mind right now but somehow i can't get the right words to say them all.

one of my closest friends will be leaving. a part of the tropa might not come back. and here i am, trying to hold on to whatever's left of a missed friendship..

i tried to shove all the news at the back of my mind just so i can focus on my studies. (and i can't say i did an excellent job at it) but now that classes are over, everything just dawned on me. add personal problems to that and i'm all set for a breakdown. good thing that one night during exam week was contained at some point. thank you. tama ka, palaban parin dapat ako. hindi pwede maging weak. not now.

no more wishful thinking. reality check nalang lagi. wag nyo lang ako sabihan ng "ganyan talaga ang buhay". ayaw ko. nakakainis.

life is just starting to turn into a trainwreck and all the bolts are turning loose.

2007-10-15T21:38:00.000+08:00

a picture i found while rummaging through my files..

michael. novs. jam. luu. deej. pao

jan 28 2006. redbox greenbelt.

we all looked like kids. first year in college.

i'd give anything to turn back time

2007-10-12T15:11:00.000+08:00

The thing about addiction is, it never ends well. becuase eventually, whatever it is that gets us high stops feeling good and starts to hurt. still, they say you don't kick the habit until you're rock bottom. but how do you know when you're there? because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes letting it go is even worse.

2007-10-06T10:18:00.000+08:00

change. we don't like it. we fear it. but we can't stop it from coming. we either adapt to change, or we get left behind. it hurts to grow. anybody who tells you it doesn't, is lying. but here's the truth: sometimes, the more things change...the more they stay the same. and sometimes, change is good. sometimes, change is everything.

----------------------------------------------------

Circle

2007-09-30T00:02:00.000+08:00

They asked me a question. I answered it. Just because...

How do you know when you love a person?

Love is something that turns you away from yourself. Your decisions are for other people, like for your significant other. Sometimes, you are not even part of that decision. Love is making Sacrifices cheerfully and it takes serious commitment (and practice!) to do it.

it was the different phases of our lives that got us together. everything just fit right into place.

The Circle = Derrick, Nisan, Lu, Maike, Reeve SACRIFICE!

Keep Love Real.

2007-09-20T21:52:00.000+08:00

no doubt. no fear. no regret. just love..

2007-09-16T22:07:00.000+08:00

i've gone soft...

crying sucks.. bigtime.

and this is something new.

people are there even at times when you don't need them. they're just...there.
but at that exact time when i badly needed someone to talk to.. nobody was there..

bring.it.on.

2007-09-10T14:53:00.000+08:00

apparently, I'm worth $46.50 / Php 2139.00

Here's the deal. You look over the following list and see how many of these things you have done. BUT you have to ADD up the money amount along the way. Then post the amount that you are as the title.

PS: The SMALLER the amount the BETTER!

1. Had sex: $6.00
2. Smoked: $5.00
3. Got drunk: $5.00
4. Went skinny dipping: $3.00
5. Kissed someone of the opposite sex:$4.00
6. Kissed someone of the same sex:$4.00
7. Cheated: $2.00
8. Fell asleep in class: $0.50
9. Been expelled: $5.00
10. Been in a fist fight: $3.00
11. Given oral: $5.00
12. Got oral: $5.00
13. Prank called the cops: $3.00
14. Stole something: $2.00
15. Done drugs: $5.00
16. Dyed your hair: $0.50
17. Done something with someone older (like a few years): $3.00
18. Went out with someone OVER 18 (if your under 18): $4.00
19. Ate a whole thing of oreos: $0.50
20. Cried yourself to sleep: $1.00
21. Said you love someone but didnt mean it: $1.00
22. Been in love: $4.00
23. Got caught doing something that you shouldnt have been doing: $1.00
24. Went streaking: $4.00
25. Got arrested: $5.00
26. Madeout with someone at the movies: $2.00
27. Peed in the pool: $0.50
28. Played spin the bottle: $1.00
29. Done something you regret: $3.00

I'm being honest here. the last $38.50 is left somewhere. (libido XD )

2007-09-08T22:04:00.000+08:00

i'm starting to get tired of all this crap.

maybe it's time...

2007-09-01T20:56:00.000+08:00

just when i've found time to write all my thoughts in this blog... my mind decides to stop.

everything just went by with a blur. but i still can't get over the cinderella night.

i've been good. :) three claps and a pat on the back for me.

2007-08-24T21:58:00.001+08:00

I am, by my own admission, a hopeless romantic. If such as thing is possible, i am in love with being in love.

2007-08-18T10:56:00.000+08:00

got this from Jazz

RULES:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down no matter how silly it sounds!

1. If someone says "Is this okay?" you say?
-- Forgetful Lucy - Adam sandler // so true. haha

2. What would best describe your personality?
-- Way back into love - Music & Lyrics OST // hahahaha//

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?
-- Tea & Sympathy - Jars of Clay // yea i want those too :p //

4. How do you feel today?
-- Good People - Jack Johnson // everybody i goooooood today //

5. What is your life's purpose?
-- How Come - James Morrison// "How come you always wind up changing your direction?" //

6. What is your motto?
-- Yellow - Coldplay // for you i'd bleed myself dry. :p //

7. What do your friends think of you?
-- Morning Glory - Oasis // It's okay.

8. What do you think of your parents?
-- 21 Questions - 50 cent // oo matanong! haha //

9. What do you think about very often?
-- Vertigo - U2 // I'm at a place called vertigo //

10. What do you think of your bestfriend?
-- Hate that i love you - Rihanna ft. Ne-Yo // of all the songs...

11. What do you think of the person you like?
-- Show me - John Legend // just right.

12. What is your life story?
-- Ordinary Pain - Lifehouse // Cause everybody needs somebody, It's just an ordinary pain. //

13. What do you want to be when you grow up?
-- Too much food - Jason Mraz // Hahahahaha. foooood.

14. What do you think when you see the person you like?
-- Love Song - 311 // yea right. //

15. What do your parents think of you?
-- Crazy 8's - Mae // Crazy //

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
-- Better part of me - Lifehouse // pwede din :) i like the song :)

17. What will they play at your funeral?
-- Dusk and Summer- Dashboard Confessional // "But you've already lost When you only had barely enough of her to hang on" - depressing much? :p //

18. What is your favorite hobby/interest?
-- Sic Semper Tyrannis - Mae //ummm.... :p

19. What is your biggest fear?
-- Rogues - Incubus //

20. What is your biggest secret?
-- Secret - Maroon5 // hahahahaha. what is wrong with my iTunes?!?! it has its own brain! //

21. What song will be the title when you repost this?
-- Sometimes I can't make - Mae

2007-08-17T22:26:00.000+08:00

The body is a slave to its impulses. But the thing that makes us human is what we can control. After the storm, after the rush, after the heat of the moment has passed.. we can cool off and clean up the messes we've made. We can try to let go of what was. and, then again..

i really have nothing else to say. there's too much idle time and my mind decided to go with it.

2007-08-15T13:46:00.000+08:00

this is actually the first time i've seen my fellow students rant about not having classes. isn't it that we usually rave about it?

is it just me or we're just taking our responsibilities seriously now? is this maturity calling us to grow up?

i can rant. i can rave. still the weather won't change. bka hanginin pa ko sa labas when i go out.

doodle : black and white. simple. scribbles. skin change. content... pretty much the same.

what else... it's the 15th of the month again. and yes, something wrong happened, again.

random
too often, the one thing you want most is the one thing you can't have. desire leaves us heartbroken. it wears us out. desire can wreck your life. but as tough as wanting something can be, the people who suffer the most are those who don't know what they want.

i've suffered. i am suffering. i will suffer more.

When Peter pan saw tinkerbell again after quite saome time, he asked: "Why did you have to go away for so long?"
Tinkerbell replied:
"You never gave me a reason to come back. I was always there when you needed me. But i guess you never showed how important i am in your life..Now it's different and now we've chaged.. but i'm still smiling.."
Peter pan then asked her why?
Tinkerbell: "I myself don't know the reason.It's just that now...... it's your turn to miss me."

2007-08-07T18:47:00.000+08:00

a while ago i was asked to make 2 wishes and my mind instantly thought of two people. i have this theory that when something instantly pops in my mind, then my heart made it do so. that's when my heart does the thinking.
i was wondering why of all the people that needs help, why them? i don't know either. i just wished for them to be happy. and both had different kinds of happiness. so what were those wishes?

1) to make my friend happy. and if he's already happy, then let more happiness come. i haven't been much of a bestfriend nor a friend to him lately. sorry. but i just wished him goodness. plus a very nice birthday. :)

2) to help another friend find the happiness he deserves. coz he really does deserve so much better. --more than what he got. and i really hope all goes well for him.

there... i wish them both the best. maybe next time im asked for more wishes, my mind wont have to think of them anymore coz my wish for them already came true. *crosses fingers*

God gave us two gifts; one is choice, second is chance..

the choice of a good life and the chance to make it the best.

:) <--ThE gReAt PrEteNdEr

2007-08-05T10:00:00.000+08:00

thank you to everyone for an amazing season ender.

after everything, i can truly say that the 4th season of my college life is done. all recorded and stored. every semester, my friend would always tell me that my college life is like a tv series with all the drama and angst and the twisted minds of every character. 1 season per sem. every little thing becomes complicated and somewhat amplified for all the world to know. secrets and lies. deceptions and what-nots. studies left to pass in and out of our minds. college is really one of the highlights of everybody's life. it changes everyone and sometimes scar us for life. but no matter what the characters face, they are still given another season. redemption. but it's different now and a lot of things were left unsaid. maybe it's better that way. ganun talaga eh. so just stand up, move on. there's more to life than just wallowing in your thoughts of what could have been.

again, thank you. i enjoyed every moment of it. 4th season is over. and i guess so is the whole series. time for a change. i'm not expecting the next series to be better--just different.

2007-07-31T19:52:00.001+08:00

i'm not holding back.

i'm not holding back.

i'm certain that i am not holding back.

for the past few weeks, i've had my share of troubles. may it be in school or my social life. but now i've been fairly fine.

B u t ..

i can't say that i'm contented. (yes, i take everything back) i'm fairly happy. i'm doing fairly in school (in most if not all) i'm fairly sleepy all the time. (so it's not counted as fairly anymore) anyhoot. fumble. rumble. grumble. (word of the day : fair - fairly)

troubles... they're not exactly called a dilemma unless i turn it into one, right? i mean, it's up to me if i want to turn it into a problem and always think about it during my idle time. so it all comes down to me.. the bearer of the weight. i guess i have this habit of turning petty things into big problems which in turn, would make my life more complicated than i've already made it to be. maybe i like complicated.. maybe complicated works for me.

it's just one of those days where a dozen realizations dawns on me and i can't help but think. think. think. that's when you see me shut up and turn to my music bubble to help shut the world out. shut. shut. la la la la la

rumble. grumble. fumble.

and at this moment.. i have just associated the topic of "finding your love" to the two most exciting subjects of our sem, PHYSICS and CHEM. ask Em. it all started with a theory about our constant... then one thing led to another... i should seriously go out. im turning into a dork. but hey, with everything i just said about those subjects, it would be a shame if i didn't get a good grade. seriously.

hmmmm..... everything is all at random in my head right now.. i'm floating, you see. it would take a while to get back on the ground.

there are so many things left unsaid between me and loads of people. somehow i just chicken out when the perfect time comes to talk. no matter how many lines i try to remember, i simply don't have the courage to say it. to tell them stuff that i don't normally say. things that i know would clear everything. simple sentences that can end the misery. i was given more than a dozen chances.. and i screwed up. yes, i blame my self.

the world is round. the chicken came before the egg. but in neutrality, the circle has no beginning or end.

they say my time is running out. that i should stop holding back even though i keep on saying that i'm not. that i have to stop waiting and start trying.

i'm not floating anymore. reality is starting to bite back and a band-aid is not enough to cover the marks. it needs something permanent. stitches--so it can leave a scar..to remind.

EMO. so what? it's been a while.

2007-07-03T21:29:00.002+08:00

i can't stop raving about how great Transformers is. Deeeeeeyymmmmmm. i'm lovin bumblebee and the bee-yotch bling on his mirror. :p

anyhoo.... the pressure is starting to creep on me. (or not..but i know it's there) it's like prelims week with all the tests and the sleepless nights. (not really.. is 11pm considered a sleepless night? :p) but hey, i got to finish everything on schedule and i still got time for myself and a bit of billiards and jamming with my friends. life is steady. life is okay. i'm not complaining.

the Bio assembly is on Friday and we're still not yet done with the steps. my back hurts, my neck hurts. and i'm having a hard time with the jazz bit. rrr.... sana hiphop nalang lahat.

I NEED A RED TOP FOR THE FINAL DANCE. i guess i'll be goin to san lazaro on our 2hr break.

what else..

o... Bday ni Jeff on Saturday. 21 i guess. Happy Bday to you! namiss kita. sana lumiit ka naman maski konti. hahabol lang ako konti sa height. hehe inuman na to! matutuloy narin at last.

nix ung kuya mo, alagaan mo ha. hehe

what else..
good news : di ako nkatulog sa spanish class kanina. improvement! special thanks to pam, karen and rayzelle for keeping me awake and active during the whole subject. :D

hmm.. i guess that's it for now.

Final Words : I miss a lot of people. i miss talking to someone. i miss a lot of things.

life is bitter. life is sweet.

2007-06-23T22:47:00.000+08:00

3 straight days of dancing = pagod = muscle pain = bruises = FUN!

my friends make me happy. i'm happy with my friends. school is really good. and to top it all off, i'm dancing again! i couldn't ask for more.

anyhoo, i'm bored. but i can't sleep just yet. i need to fix my body clock again. so now i sleep at exactly midnight and i wake up at 5 am. that's enough sleep for me. i have all the time in the world. but now im thinking that i have too much time on weekends coz i've got no more homework to do. it's much more fun if i do it on weekdays coz the lesson is still fresh in my mind.

okay, talkin nonsense again. i'm just bored. i'm waiting for midnight.

--we went out to by dvd's a while ago coz my sister wanted to watch silver surfer. so we passed by the trusty tiangge near sta. lucia which also houses stalls full of pirates. arrr. kidding. it only means we bought fake dvds. so while browsing for other dvd's to buy, my eyes passed by this one!
let's all laugh. c'mon. i was about to buy this one coz i actually thought it was the Transformers movie itself! bilib na sana ko sa pinoy coz i thought they actually got a copy of the movie already. naunahan pa nila ang ibang bansa. BUT NOOOO. to the next level ang pagiging pirata nya. take note : 'special edition' yan. at mukhang mei ganyan din na robot si kuya nung bata siya. kaso payatot pa yung nasa picture. hindi complete ang body. namaaaaan!!

okay tama na. extra lang : i bought a dvd of Death Note. complete series with the movie! haha. let's see if i can convert this to ipod format. :p

extra extra again : check out my Multiply for Marc's indie film of "The Fly"

2007-06-19T21:13:00.000+08:00

BOO!

wala lang. first off, i want to store a part of my sunday which deserves to be put on memo and preserved for life. here goes..

we all know it's still the season of school shopping and the first day bliss is still lingering in our veins and the freakin line in national bookstore never seems to end--classhours or not. anyhoo, so we (the whole family) decided to dine out. wala lang talaga since we just came from mass. so they ordered food and while waiting, i decided to buy a dictio for spanish. when i got to the bookstore, lo and behold..people everywhere. (organelle bumping!) but i decided to triapse to the unending sea of kids having tantrums, to the frustrated parents who aimlessly try to hide their pocket calculators (guess why), and to the students, who, amidst the long line and the thought of having hell unleashed right in that store, decide to wait and buy what they need..may it be just a pack of loose leaf. (but nooo, it's not just a pack of loose leaf.)

ANYWAY. too much info. let's jump to the stupid highlight of my trip to the bookstore.

while i was looking for a good dictio, a guy approached me and said, "miss, sinundan ka siguro dito kaya ang daming tao sa National no." hahahahaha. sorry natawa lang ako after he said that. (that was like the best or worst pick up line i've ever heard.) funny. seriously. so i laughed then asked him, "um, ok ka lang?" then he said, "oo naman po." (cool, he actually said 'po') so i smiled and said, "okay. bye!" hehe. not really a good conversation (if you would call that one). so i squeezed myself into the crowd again hoping i'd vanish into thin air so i could laugh my lungs out. that was reaaaally something.

anywaaay. i just wanted to store a funny memory here.

i'll do the orgchem hw now. seeee yaaaa.

2007-06-15T21:05:00.000+08:00

i've posted this one before..

"you'll have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it's harder every time. you'll break hearts too..so remember how it felt when someone broke yours."

that's what i've been telling myself all the time. to always remember how it felt. so no, i don't want any relationships at the moment coz i might end up hurting someone again. now i know what it feels like, i guess it's time to just stop. although there are people now who are being 'makulit' (my special term). just a big no. not just yet.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand..... i'm getting sleepy.

i'm really tired

2007-06-13T20:42:00.000+08:00

“Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.”

2007-06-08T21:50:00.000+08:00

Brain mechanism explains sense of deja vu
By Julie Steenhuysen

CHICAGO (Reuters) - Most people have had deja vu -- that eerie sense of having experienced something before -- but U.S. researchers have identified the part of the brain responsible for this sensation, and they think it may lead to new treatments for memory-related problems.

They said neurons in a memory center of the brain called the hippocampus make a mental map of new places and experiences, then store them away for future use.

But when two experiences begin to seem very much alike, these mental maps overlap and start to blur.

"Deja vu occurs when this ability is challenged," said Susumu Tonegawa, a professor of biology and neuroscience at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in Cambridge, whose work appears in the journal Science.

It is really just a malfunction in the brain's ability to sort through new information, something called episodic memory.

"This is very important for an intelligent animal like human beings so you know what's going on around you and you can recall it later," said Tonegawa in a telephone interview.

He and colleagues studied mice that were genetically altered to lack a gene in a specific part of the hippocampus called the dentate gyrus, which they found to be critical in forming the ability to sort through similar experiences.

Mice who lacked this ability were moved from one cage to a second, similar cage and then back to the first cage. In one cage, they got a mild electrical shock to the foot. In the other, they did not.

The mutant mice associated both cages with danger and began to freeze when placed in either cage -- they could not determine in which cage they got shocked.

Healthy mice quickly learned the difference and only froze in the dangerous cage.

When the researchers tested the animals' brain activity, the mutant mice reacted similarly in both cages, but the brain activity of the healthy mice was different in each.

Tonegawa said the type of memory that allows people to quickly distinguish different faces and places fades with age.

"Since we know the molecular and cellular pathway based on our results, there is a possibility to use those molecular targets to develop a drug to improve this connection," he said.

That is especially the case for neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer's.

He said the study settles 35 years of debate over how the brain can distinguish between similar places and experiences.

"One big question about the memory is now taken care of," he said.

--------------------------------------------------------

Just thought i'd post this.... something has been bothering me for the past feew weeks.

XS : i just watched Ocean's 13. kudos.

2007-06-07T19:37:00.000+08:00

I've been honest. I've been harsh.

Yet i don't think he got the message.

and i don't think calling without any 'warning' works. still he had the guts to ask me out or to cme with me to school.

riiiiiiiight.

some people just don't get the message.

2007-06-03T19:49:00.000+08:00

Someone is excited

AllStars Concert
June 10 @ Metrobar
tickets at 300

i'm more than excited. not only would i get to see Allstars perform again, it's gonna be a reunion! (mini-reunion pala) :p it's gonna be the final night of my summer and i'll make sure i enjoy every minute of it. sana lang matuloy ung yaya ni mayor sa morato. hehe

---------------------

Enrollment tomorrow. wow 3rd yr na ko.

parang kailan lang....

*nung first yr..
- every TTh, kakain kami ng shawarma at isaw at Zagu sa field.
- nakakaalis pa kami lagi kasi matino ung friday sched
- 6am magkikita at aabutin kami ni michael ng 9pm sa kakaantay mkauwi sya. maski sarhan na kami ng lib, solid parin! haha
- hindi pa namin classmate si pao david. hahaha
- nabuo ang mga "thing" sa classroom
- may nag catfight sa class! wooo!
- unti-unting nadidiscover ang DOTA
- HQ sa colayco
- mga play ni ma'm domingo
- Tuesdays with Morrie
- 2nd sem nagstart and Dota madness
- memorable fieldtrip sa Bolinao!
- Trigo (nak ng!)
- Superstar and half-a-star
- tambay parin sa field
- madre dorm (rrrr)
- start ng Single awareness day (S.A.D.) at Au's condo every valentines day
- nabuo ang mga samahan
- we all got to know each other
- masaya kami :D

what else??? people, help me here. i know a lot of stuff happened that year.

i love my first year in college. turn back time. :)

2nd yr is still fresh in my mind... so... No.

**it's always good to remember the fun stuff. makes me happy :D

2007-06-02T01:19:00.000+08:00

time : 1:20 AM

i had the sudden urge to open the pc and check my multiply. as if i was supposed to see something before i go to sleep.

i just went to mega.. then pearl.. tambay. strawberry daquiri and the strongest long island i've ever tasted. i've been going out straight for the past few days and each with different people.

and for the record, everything is going great.

my parents always know where i am, who i'm with and what i'll be doing. i'm thinking, honesty is a better way for them to allow me to go out. and it really works. and i'm sure they understand that i'm trying to cram all of my day/night outs coz next week, i'll be busy with a lot more stuff.

it's just sad i wasn't able to go to the party at rob. would've been great to come and meet more people. but hey, dad didn't let me go so i had to settle for mega and ip0d accessorizing instead.

wouldn't it be c0rny to name my ip0d with another c0rny name just to make it "cornily redundant". (mas corny pa sa mais!!!)

ok tama na jokes. kanina pa yan eh.

what else..... going out again tomorrow. :p or n0t.

will be back at ateneo next week and the next weekends to come.

"Dark and twisty doesn't suit me..... i'm all bright and sunny!!"

2007-05-31T12:43:00.000+08:00

Excessive happiness

2007-05-28T20:25:00.000+08:00

Hiphop recital. i'm the one in front. on your right. haha. don't mind the people shouting. :p

Sarap lang!

or visit my multiply for the both the Breakdance and Hiphop videos!

2007-05-26T14:29:00.000+08:00

nope. no more steady time. i'm happy. that's it. and it helps if you open your heart to more people.

lalo na kapag meron classes. and sarap sumayaw. parang it brings me to a happy place. (uy, adik) in the zone! tama ang Allstars. "sarap lang". idol ko sila kasi they've been through a lot pero they didn't let the hardships stop them. it was like, they were really meant to win the competition and all the hard part was just a test for them. at shempre, God was with them all the way. imagine going to Italy and US and not having a place to stay.. pero with the kindness of the filipino community there, someone 'adopted' them. they welcomed the group in their home and fed them. God is reaaaallly good.

surprisingly, they were in the poster for the 5th world championships!

sarap lang talaga. and i'm thanking God kasi he's always blessing me with another morning to wake up and know that i'll be dancing again in a few hours with my friends and my new found friends. every step and every move i make, it's for God. masaya kami lahat. sayang lang kasi sa rehearsals na kami nagbonding. pero a day of bonding was enough to say na sulit ang lahat. ang pagod, pasa, pera, practice.

while waiting for the rehearsals to start, i got to talk to my other classmates. nakakatawa makipag chismisan dahil lang sa isang picture. (who would've known that was Phil in the pic? eh si Sir Niko nga di ko mashado napansin andun pala eh!) so we got to talk. and laugh and laugh and laugh.
start ng rehearsals. too bad i wasn't able to take pictures or videos (andyan naman si nix :p). but i made sure that every second had a still frame in my mind. that was when everyone really started talking. lumabas talaga kakulitan nila. even the bboys were starting to loosen up. at shempre, kami rin girls. konti lang hiphop that time and too bad partner Phil wasn't there too kaya i had to do a solo hanggang sa ramp and pretend to be dancing with him. freestyle naman kaya 'sarap lang'.

we ended at around 4 and didn't know what to do next since we were so used to going home late at night. so our 'teachers' invited us to the the studio at Gonzaga. we said sure! tira tira lang lang daw. meaning, breakdance. so we went there, watched them for a while and thought we couldn't do those moves YET and as beginners, its gona be hard to practice with the floor serving as your cushion when you fall. injury alert yun. so jazz was kind enough to show us the cushions! as in parang sa kama. amoy bago pa yung isa. we did a couple of turns and taught ourselves how to do the other freezes. jazz showed us some stuff too. then chika with sir niko. (oops! wrong move) then.. 6pm. time to go.
again, bored. tambay sa mcdo and biogy's friend, dae, was there too. so we ate and talked til dumating si daddy abiog. (special thanks to Shrek for providing us with a bit of activity)

okay i just typed everything here. :p again, so i'll remember.

the classes are really helping. also with my body! tumangkad ako.. my biceps.. damn. and it's pretty obvious i think. it also helped with discipline coz i jog every morning, every other day.

HAPPY.

and of course dancing is not the only reason. but it mostly is.

anyhoot.

a nice way to end this long post..pictures!

the chismis pic.
nix. lu. nina. gil.
but it's those at the back that started it all. sir niko and phil

breakdance!
bboys and bgirls with master kyxz.

Hiphop!
with Sir Niko

"You know you're dancing when tears of pain and happiness blend in with your sweat"

ALL FOR YOU LORD!

2007-05-23T21:37:00.000+08:00

life is sweeeeet

2007-05-17T00:11:00.000+08:00

tuwing mag-isa ako.. or naglalakad kahit saan.. isang lang nasa isip ko. alam ko un ang mkkapag pasaya sakin kasi alam ko rin na un lang talaga ang kulang sa buhay ko ngayon. isang bagay na buong summer ko hinahanap-hanap. pagka gising... bago matulog.. un ang nasa isip lagi. pilitin ko man wag isipin.. di talaga kaya. minsan pa, buong araw ko naiisip. pero kapag nasasaktuhan ng swerte, meron panandalian na saya kasi nararamdaman ko sha.

sa gabi na to.... ang hirap matulog. un lang kasi nasa isip ko. makakatulog lang siguro ako ng maayos kapag andyan na at masaya na ko ulit.

tama na nga... alam ko naman na hindi lang ako ang naghahanap nito.

lahat naman tayo ganito ang pakiramdam sa paghahanap ng Aircon!! gusto ko ng aircon kahit saan ako pumunta!! wala ba portable aircon??? ayaw ko ng de-battery lang na little fan! gsto ko aircon! haha hindi enough ang nakatapat na fan bago matulog. hindi talaga. tingan mo naman at gising pa ko.

**eto nagagawa ng sobrang init! ang corny. nakakabaliw!!! . di ako makatulog. :( kailangan ko pa gumising maaga bukas para pumunta ng lto.

sakit pa ng ulo ko. everyday na to nangyayari ha. ung sakit na masarap untugin sa pader. yah. like that. haha. grrr

okay.. nagtatagalog nanaman ako. why not?

-----------------------------iba naman, english please!

okay. enough.

the dance sessions today was great. (parang nka drugs lahat :p) breakdance did good but i still have to make my own choreography for the solo. (and my footwork at the moment, sucks. bigtime.) but i'll try to practice everyday. i just feel sorry for my knees and my elbows. oh well, that's life. at least im getting stronger and i think i gained pounds coz of the muscle weight. so i guess the bruised knee is worth it. :p
hiphop--damn i'm dead if i don't practice and memorize and daaaaamn. i just remembered a lot of stuff again after the dance. (things i have long forgotten) even if i was told to go closer, i still wasn't able to do it. proximity. but i still have to do it. i need to. or else i'm dead. more than dead. double dead. Rrrr.... focus.focus. stop thinking too much luu. haha.

okay, stop. sleep. rest.

MUST SEE:
May 27 @ Metrobar West Ave. 6pm. tickets - P200. worth it to guys! All-stars will also be there.

2007-05-14T20:11:00.000+08:00

i'm okay.

at the course of the summer break, i have come to know a lot of people who have bigger problems than i do.

i just think too much. haha.

plus with the elections... a lot of people are dying. everything is just wrong and things doesn't have to be this way. -they seriously have bigger problems.

this is not sacrifice. nobody deserves to die so someone can win.

song:

Rooster - Staring at the Sun

Daylight on my shoulder
Makes me feel alive
You kept me standing in your shadow
And it’s a cold cold place to hide

I’m running away from this messed up place
I’m breaking free, yeah yeah

I’m tired of staring at the sun
Can’t stand the way you put my eyes so I can’t see
Stealing every breath I breathe
You push me into overdrive
And I don’t need this kind of light coz now I’m done
You took everything while I was staring at the sun

I know you won’t leave me
But just turn and walk away
I’m tired of when you kick me around
Trying to kill my dreams and break me down
But I won’t hang around

I’m running away from this messed up place
I’m breaking free, yeah yeah

I’m tired of staring at the sun
Can’t stand the way you put my eyes so I can’t see
Stealing every breath I breathe
You push me into overdrive
And I don’t need this kind of light coz now I’m done
You took everything while I was staring at the sun
I was staring at the sun

Daylight on my shoulder
I know its time to run
Yes I know its time to run

2007-05-13T23:31:00.000+08:00

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms in the world!

I miss my mom.

i'm sure she's enjoying herself. she deserves this vacation.

2007-05-12T23:31:00.000+08:00

pahabol.

a lot of people are asking if i'm okay. like they're checking up on me. sometimes i tell them 'yes' or 'i don't know yet' or i answer them with another question or i simply change the subject.

truth : i really don't know.

ever wondered why i'm TOO happy?
-so i'll be ready.

but i do appreciate everyone who asked. i really do appreciate it. sometimes they text or pm out of the blue just to check up on me. sweet. see? this is why i love my friends. i'd rather pamper them than myself. haha.
i'm not going to expect anything from someone anymore. no more disappointments. coz through the whole of this summer vacation, those who i never expected to talk to was there and very much eager to spare some of their time to an old friend. they were there to help me through a lot of stuff. thank you. you guys made me realize a lot of things. (uy, drama!)
------------------------------------
anyway. jogging again tomorrow. then practice. eat. practice. eat. practice.

discipline!
------------------------------------
my view:

If you can't accept me at my worst, then you don't deserve to see me at my best.

2007-05-12T23:01:00.000+08:00

reviews:

*28 weeks later
--no it's not your typical zombie movie coz for one thing, there are no zombies. if you watched the first movie (28 weeks later) then you'd know. it's from a virus (yes another virus, i know) which triggers Rage. they go amok and just start killing people. they're very much alive but they don't feel the pain of their wounds coz of the rage. so a simple shot in the head would kill them just fine. that's basically it. there were stupid scenes and even a blair witch one. yea, the close-up, night vision stuff. it's there.
i like these kinds of movies. so 3 1/2 out of 5 stars for me. it didn't give me zombie dreams after so that means it didn't make that much of an impact on me. but my brother enjoyed the movie. he woke me up early in the morning and started impersonating a zombie plus sound effects. his face was practically in front of me. good thing i was half asleep so i was still able to mutter.. "mag-toothbrush ka nga." hehe. smelling zombie morning breath is not a nice way to start your day.

*Spiderman3
-errr... it was okay.

*Friday Night Lights
-love it.
no questions asked.

*the world according to Garp
-good book. good story. still looking for a copy of the movie.

--------------------------------------------
crap reviews for the last three. haha. will watch another movie next week. now who to ask out... hmmm....

2007-05-10T10:58:00.000+08:00

okay.. sue me for being too bored.

since i woke up at 6am and there's nothing to do. i decided to take a test. yes, this is a product of my boredom.

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	73%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Religious	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Hedonism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Physical Fitness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	84%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Female cliche	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Stability results were high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic..

Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun.

Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

trait snapshot:
social, outgoing, worry free, optimistic, upbeat, tough, likes large parties, makes friends easily, rarely irritated, open, enjoys leadership, trusting, dominant, thrill seeker, strong, does not like to be alone, assertive, mind over heart, confident, controlling, feels desirable, likes the spotlight, loves food, social chameleon, hard working, concerned about others

most are true. some.. i don't know. but hey, it's just a test.

will watch "28 weeks later" this friday. then continuous movie madness! can't wat for pirates and shrek3 and oceans13 and transformers! haha gonna watch them all!

2007-05-08T19:18:00.000+08:00

oo na. huli na ko sa balita. or sa movie.

kanina ko lang napanood ung Spiderman3. hindi ako mashado natuwa. naghahanap ako ng magandang fight scenes eh. parang bitin. tapos mukhang tinipid. ung kasama ko halos tinulugan ang drama scenes. haha.

pano un eh pinatay nila si venom? paano kapag si Carnage na kalaban? diba dapat tulungan si spidey at venom nun? so that means wala na spiderman4? hmm...

tama na. isipin muna kung paano papanoorin ang Pirates na 2nd bago manood ng 3rd. hahaha. jared! pakidala ang dvd! salamat!

2007-05-06T23:39:00.000+08:00

oh no. i'm answering surveys again. haha. this only means i've got nothing to do when the pc is on. but good thing my boredom level here at home is starting to go down coz of the pool table.
btw, thanks to trusty friendster and chelle for the survey.
anyhoot, here goes. HONEST answers.

1. I love...
everyone!

2. Right now I want...
to have a chill session with my friend/s

3. I feel like...
playing.... ps2

4. I hate it when...
i screw up

5. I fear...
rejection

6. I'm lonely without...
knowing that there's someone i can still run to

7. I need...
to start reading again

8. Today I...
went out with my mom and planned a day out with someone

9. Tomorrow I'm...
going to practice

10. I just...
got hungry

11. I want to meet...
the dalai lama

12. I'm hungry for...
you... woeh!

13. I love it when...
i'm with someone.. coz i can't be any happier

14. I'm afraid of...
(i have to lie on this one)

15. I'm listening to...
silence

16. I'm wearing...
track shirt & shorts (seriously)

17. I wish I was in...
palawan

18. I'm craving...
Crepes

19. I want to have...
a medical degree

20. I can...
handle physical pain.

21. I can't...
handle emotional pain.

22. I have...
a life

23. I haven't...
been able to stop thinking

24. I'm nervous to...
see what i've been fearing since the start of summer

25. My Mom thinks I'm...
all-around

26. My Dad thinks I'm...
already a doctor. haha seriously

27. I think...
i should stop thinking

28. I'm happy when...
everyone is happy

29. I'm sad when...
i hide something behind the smile

30. I like eating...
crepes. and all the other sweet stuff in the world!

31. I hate eating...
hhmm... something that lacks seasoning

32. I love watching...
movies

33. I love listening to...
alternative music

34. I like playing...
TONG-ITS!!! joke lng.. ayaw ko muna maglaro nun. risky!!! haha. track & field parin.

35. I hate waking up to...
a sweaty self

36. I can see...
the next lotto numbers. hehehe

37. I'm glad that...
i'm doing much better now

38. I'm disappointed that...
i'm getting disappointed over something

39. I look like...
a gradeschooler.

40. I wish I looked like...
myself. haay. wish ko lang. :p

--------------------------------------------------yay boredom!

i'ma sleep.
wait.. message:
michael : wer u? hallerr! i have kwento! and question again. maling mga pinoproblema. tsk2
Au : gudluck! sa wed pnta kami
Jam : is lost. jaaaaaam?? akin nalang picasso. trade! hehe
Biogee : spell s-l-u-t. shyapping
ramon : wala emo. bilyar

yan muna.

2007-05-04T13:53:00.000+08:00

first off :
HAPPY 24th BDAY ATE LEIZL!!! wuu tanda mo nah!

WELCOME BACK JAM! nasan na ung pasalubong ko na inflatable lalake? hahaha

okaaaaaay. a little recap. (and some phonepics)

quezon.

multiply nalang ibang pics.

now off to what happend yesterday.
since i had nothing to do yesterday and my friend was on her way to school to fix her shifting papers, i decided to go with her. i saw some of my friends. blockmates, coursemates, mates somewhere else. :p anyway i got to talk to most of them. aaaaand, sit-in narin sa class ni sir yambao. 2 hrs of calculus was truly like a pot session. haha. (thanks guys for the idea) after that, the others went home.. but i didn't. shempre sino pa ba kasama ko after.. edi si paolo! bonding lang. mga 4hrs lang naman na usapan at tambay.

pictures!

oo na wala kami magawa. isa na sa mga achievements ko ang mapakain si pao. haha. CCP - carbonara,chicken,pizza. samahan mo pa ng milkshake. hindi naman masyadong mahal ang kinain namin. siyet. pero worth it naman. nakaalis na ko condo ng 9 tapos naman sabi ng isang tao eh 9 daw nagsasara nag lrt. nagmadali tuloy ako. kainez! sa uulitin!

at sana magawa ko din ito sa iba ko na kaibigan. oo namimiss ko kayo. lalo na ikaw. labo.

--------------------------------------- next!

every monday and wed.. meron breakdance and hiphop classes sa moro sa ateneo. at gabi pa siya. ung tipong latest uwi ko is 10pm. ayos. at shempre, sayang naman ang binayad ko kung wala ako natutunan diba? eto picture ng breakdance experiment ko. walang tatawa!!!!!

hindi ko alam tawag dyan. pero dapat turtle lang talaga gagawin ko. eh since ang hirap ng turtle, yan tuloy ang nangyari. konting practice nalang! (meaning everyday practice) infairnez tumataas ang discipline ko dahil dito ha. kain narin ng kain tapos workout. i gained 5lbs. hahaha. oo maniwala kayo. mahirap na gawin un para sakin. haha.

watch our show!!! May27 Metrobar 6pm. mamahalin ko kayo ng lubos kung pumunta kayo. :D

--------------------------------------- next!

this is our backyard. notice something different?

okay.. closer look at the gazebo..

meron na dapat idea by now.

heeeeeeeeere. :D

sinung adik? haha

and i've never seen balls sooo shiny before! hahahaha

---------------------------------------------

okay. that's about it. now, off to the thoughts.

steady parin. i'm not complaining. actually... sabi ng ng kaibigan ko.. "lagot, bumabalik ka sa dati. baka worse pa." sooo.. kung bato ung dati... ano na ngayon? haha wala na talaga lumalabas eh. maski pilitin ko pa mag-isip ng malungkot... wala. maski alam ko dapat ko yun gawin sa oras na iyon.. wala talaga. one time big time talaga eh. matagal nanaman bago maulit yun. and i reaaally mean matagal.

vague. i know.

just a reminder, this blog helps me remember things so i put my own thoughts in it. kind of like a journal. yep. kind of

2007-04-30T12:00:00.001+08:00

kkauwi ko lng galing quezon.

headache!!

2007-04-28T23:57:00.000+08:00

Naiinis ako

2007-04-28T14:21:00.000+08:00

Rasta White Superstars
i like/want/need.

2007-04-27T21:42:00.000+08:00

too often, the one thing you want most is the one thing you can't have. desire leaves us heartbroken. it wears us out. desire can wreck your life. but as tough as wanting something can be, the people who suffer the most are those who don't know what they want.

2007-04-26T18:04:00.001+08:00

current game addiction: ND4SPD Most Wanted

extra:
minsan talaga, meron mga tao na makulit. no matter how many times you brush them off..wala. no matter how hard you ignore them..wala parin. you'll start wondering if he gets the message or he's just plain being naive. (or being stupid) seriously. a no is a no. and i think i've said or shown more than that.

RRRrrrrrrrrrrrr.

hindi ko minamadali ang sarili ko. sana ung iba wag ako madaliin.

i can wait. and i'll wait....as long as it takes.

2007-04-26T13:24:00.000+08:00

the thing about plans is, they dont take into account the unexpected. so when we throw a curve ball, we have to improvise. of course, some of us are better at it than others. some of us just have to move on to plan B, and make the best of it.

and sometimes, what we want is exactly what we need.

but sometimes, what we need is a new plan.

2007-04-24T08:31:00.000+08:00

This thing, where we all keep our distances and pretend not to care about each other.... it usually a load of bull.

So if i haven't been saying my usual hello's to you and we haven't talked for quite a while.. that doesn't mean i don't think about you. Because the truth is, i do.

^ to everyone

---------------

COOL - Gwen Stefani

2007-04-22T21:33:00.000+08:00

amaaaaazing. umalis ako ng bahay kanina. himala na yun..

let's call this day, "musta?" day

ung mga di ko inaakala na magpaparamdam.. eh nagparamdam na. parang mga multo na bigla nalang nagpapakita pero di naman nakakatakot. (okay, sorry for the metaphor. slow ako ngayon. it's the time of the night.) nagpaload ako ng P30 kanina (actually pasaload lang. freeloader eh) kasi iniisip ko na di naman ako mashado na matext. kaso sa di inaakalang pangyayari, naging active ang phone ko. nakakagulat kasi sa loob ng isang oras, apat kagad sila na nangamusta. at yung isa ay may kasama pang pasigaw na, "Luanne!" . oo na bingi ako sa text. nakakatuwa kasi nasa magkakaibang lupalop ng mundo (okay, pilipinas lang) sila lahat. magkakalayo sila. di pa magkakilala. az in! malakas lang ba mashado aura ko sa oras na yun at bigla nila ko naisip? waaaaw. touch me!!! hahaha or nagkataon lang na sabay-sabay sila na bored at naisipan mag send ng group text na "musta?". wag naman sana.. okay balik tayo sa load. ubos na. walang natira. pasaload ulit! sa phone naman ni mama. XD

biglaan lang. sa linggo na to... naassociate ko na ang pinakaiiwasang topic ng mga tao sa iba't-ibang bagay. so ano ba ang topic na un? L-O-V-E pare. pag-ibig. haha. akalain mo yun.
naconnect na sha sa mahiwagang laro ng tong-its.
sa pag-compare ng mp3 player sa mixed tape.
sa ulan at sa payong.
sa spaghetti at palabok...

actually imbento nalang ung last. nagugutom na ko eh.

-----------------------------

sabi ng kaibigan ko na hindi ko nakikita pero alam namin na magkaibigan kami,

"Di ka manhid, wrong timing lang."

HA! see that?? at may process pa sha na nalalaman. san ka pa.

----------------------------

next time na ulit magsusulat.. meaning, bukas.

paalam.

2007-04-21T10:58:00.000+08:00

for the past few days.. all i can think of are the happy times. masaya ako kasi nangyari ang mga yun.

i'm not sad. i'm not happy either.

sabi nga ni dora,

STEADY LANG.

2007-04-19T23:38:00.000+08:00

gusto ko lang ilagay to dito. isang usapan sa walang kamatayang ym. hahaha

: i know
: nakakatawa lang talga na tigasin ka
: pero sa ibang tao diyan NAPAPATIKLOP ka
: hehe

: dont laugh
: i know its true
: 1st time lang kitang nakitang nagkaganyan no

galing kay DORA the rat killer este, the explorer. nako. ewan. sha lang nagsabi lahat nyan.

sarap lang ilagay. para kapag nabasa ko next year.. matatawa ulit ako. memories! haha

2007-04-19T15:37:00.000+08:00

2 in a single week. that's a record for me.

stupid.stupid.stupid.

it's just not the time.

heartbreaker

--------------------------------------------

now i'm trying to figure out how to hide my knees from my mom. hehe

see? big bruises all over.

2007-04-18T23:35:00.000+08:00

parang ayoko na...

"you'll have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it's harder every time. you'll break hearts too..so remember how it felt when someone broke yours."

2007-04-17T12:20:00.000+08:00

EWAN.

wag nalang

2007-04-16T08:10:00.000+08:00

remember my long hair?

well

it's gone

wanna see a pic?

friendster.

2007-04-15T11:56:00.000+08:00

okay just to prove im not pushing people away.. i'm going out with someone. friendly 'going out'. means nothing.

boundaries. boundaries.

2007-04-15T01:07:00.000+08:00

it's 1.30 am. and im still not sleepy. rrrr.. damn you emo people. makin me think. haha

someone just texted. says he misses me and all the sweetdreams talk. but i didn't reply. didn't know what to say. im just thinkin, why would anyone text at this time of the night? stupid luu. thinkin bout the wrong things again. Boo!

this night is what i would call :

Realization night : An Epiphany for soon to be Rocks

cool huh. ym has been really useful these days.

and no.. i'm not pushing people away. it's just the thought of not making them think there's a chance of being together. more like, boundaries. a line the size of 'the great wall of China'. and it takes more than an army to get through it.

just not now.

2007-04-12T19:15:00.000+08:00

hindi naman sa busy ako kaya halos di na ko naguupdate. actually, tinutubuan na ko ng lumot dito sa bahay eh. walang lakad kasi minsan tinatamad maglakad. at kung gusto umalis, wala naman pera. at kadalasan, wala lang talaga kasama or mayaya. sinong lonely??? haha.

kailan lang, sinabihan ako ng isang tao...

"you're pushing people away again."

Again?? hallerr. please expound.

i'm just trying to be my old self again and a whole lot more.

current song addiction :

Six cycle mind - Upside down

I’ve been spending some time, thinking i’d be alright
Don’t know if I could really make it tonight
Lie awake in the dark, come down then I start
Thinking about you is almost breaking my heart
I don’t know where I went wrong, or what’s going on
Baby, I fell like our love’s lost tonight
Should I stay, should I go? Well, I really don’t know
Lately I’ve been missing you so

Baby, you don’t understand our love lies lost
But you’re still holding my hand
Oh and then you walk away
Just tonight, I want you to stay

You’re turning me on, you turn me around
You turn my whole world upside down

Everytime I hurt you, well it’s hurting me too
Don’t know if I could really stay here tonight
Tired of thinking of you, I never think that you do
Tell me what am I supposed to do
Well, I just wanted to say that I need you today
Tell me it’s all gonna work out alright
I don’t know where I should I start
But with all of my heart
Baby let me be your lover tonight

Oh you know, you turn me upside down
You know, you turn me upside down

2007-04-10T19:18:00.000+08:00

i just had the most sensible conversation.

coolness.

2007-04-02T20:16:00.000+08:00

ang lagkit na ng ichura namin! haha

go biog!

that's me. career!

Everything was great!! 220 was worth it. and i only got hurt when i did a cartwheel. haha. stupid luu. i'm happy i still remembered everything i learned from my lessons waaaay back. i got to climb the good walls and sloped ones. shempre hindi ung exxage sa hirap naman. after 3 years.. big comeback for me. woop!

Thanks guys! nag enjoy ako. :D

2007-04-02T10:00:00.000+08:00

goin wall climbing later.

jared. sister. biog. helena.

pics to come!

*anyone wana join?

Power up tandang sora. minutes away from UP. will be there whole afternoon. kami na belayers nyo. hehe. txt me.

2007-04-01T07:11:00.000+08:00

“Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.

-Meredith Grey

so what if i keep on hitting myself everyday? maybe after this, i would be so numb that nothing else would matter and life would be too selfish for me. selfish nga din daw ako diba.

but i did help myself. i even let other people do it for me coz they want to. but i guess my expectations were just a little above the limit.

what happened?

expectations. disappointment. insensitivity. indifference.

2007-03-31T22:19:00.000+08:00

Rrrrr.......

2007-03-31T06:11:00.000+08:00

screw the hug.. i need someone

i guess i'll be shopping alone.

2007-03-30T06:46:00.001+08:00

i need a hug

2007-03-27T18:47:00.000+08:00

i started my week with two day-outs and so far, i think it's working. friends made me happy. made me smile. i hung out with them. oh and i made new friends.

i really love hanging out with them. keeps my mind straight. and that was their goal.

thanks guys. i really owe you.

i'm really trying to get in touch with my long lost friends. or maybe i've been the 'long lost' one.

:D

2007-03-26T06:52:00.000+08:00

imagine having to wake up in the morning and it's always the same thing that's in your mind. everyday. depressingly sucks. and when you're left alone, that's all you can think about and no matter what you do, you just can't help it. pathetic. it's not like i want to think about it, i don't. i seriously don't. but hey, it's just the start. this is normal.

where are my friends?

i need intervention. haha. booze and night outs. keep me busy guys.

p.s. *new skin for the summer. still fixin it. music codes suck. give me a good song. left panel also needs fixin.

2007-03-24T19:23:00.000+08:00

most of our life is a series of images, they pass us by like towns on a highway. but sometimes a moment stuns us as it happens, and we know this instance more than a fleeting image. we know that this moment, every part of it, will live on forever.

2007-03-24T08:44:00.000+08:00

hi blog.
i just remembered..

i cried during our scl.
i realized something.
it's good.
but it hurts. --too much
and everytime i think about it
my mind spins.

make it stop.
make me numb.

please.

i hate being alone

2007-03-23T06:56:00.001+08:00

it's a friday morning. when it should have been a saturday. but the school decided to end our year on a weekday and make us party at that same day/night. hence, the crappy circulation of my words. last night was.............seriously can't even explain it. mixed emotions.
no one got drunk.
thank you mr. blue pool for making us active
budokai.
ball on the river.
diving lessons.
sleeping in the pool.
no lights.
incense.
mcdo.
lamok!
drizzle.
rain.
pahabol people.
4 left in mr.blue.
others playing.
others sleeping.
gay until..
3am.

and some of them are an arms reach away from me. sleeping. like babies. gay ones. :p

------------------------------------------------------------

another school year has passed. i've had my shares of ups and downs.. lefts and rights? anyhoot, every minute of the year was not forgotten. i remember it all and treasure every moment of it. it made me a better person. i learned a lot from my mistakes and even from others.

what's the highlight of my schoolyear? guess. and everything was a hurricane. all twisted in air. --but after every hurricane is a clear, blue sky.

don't cry 'coz it's over, smile 'coz it happened. :D

2007-03-17T18:38:00.000+08:00

my friend and i agreed to put something in our blog that people don't know about us.

so i decided to put something safe. :p

--i never back down on a deal.

that's it. haha.

---------------------
exam week. i'm blogging now so i can at least remove some of the tension. my room hasn't really been that home-y since last christmas break and neither is my dorm.
---------------------

hmm.. i haven't been much of a risk taker since college started. i usually think over things thoroughly before i decide on something. but this one is really--something.BIG. like less-than-a-week BiG. but hey, you really never know. and i trust my partner so i know things will be just fine.

this is my big step. one more check mark on the to-do list for the year.

2007-03-14T22:32:00.000+08:00

love of the loveless.

dear luu,

it's someone who will fight for you.

loveless, luu.

-------------------------

i love anyone who loves me. or anyone who would at least care.

-------------------------

show me something real

-------------------------

sobrang babaw na talaga ng kaligayahan ko

2007-03-12T22:10:00.000+08:00

it's a monday evening.
we have tests for each class tomorrow.
pKa for chemlab.
4 chapters for botany.
world map for lit.
and my day was plain wrong.
it's not one of my best coz again, i screwed up.
had a headache the whole day and decided not to tell anyone.
like anyone would care.

i'm thinking.
the whole weekend up to now.
why... what...when...
but there are times i just don't want to answer those questions.
coz i don't know what to think anymore.
it feels right.
but reality tells me it's a halfway thing.
i have to decide.
but not just yet.
i'll wait..

2007-03-04T13:28:00.000+08:00

anyone can make you happy by doing something special.. but only someone special can make you happy without doing anything....

TRUTH. i'm happy even without the 'doing anything' part. besides, i'm making the most out of everything. :)

2007-03-03T18:56:00.000+08:00

haay ang bilis ng panahon..parang kailan lang ah...one year na ang nakalipas... marami nang 'what could have been' moments... pero it opened a lot of doors and windows and even trap doors.....trap doors...trap....but lucky me, i managed to get out. well that's another story.

napaisip lang ako. simula kahapon. wala lang.

nakangiting binabalikan ang nakaraan. kahit masakit, kahit masaklap, kahit 'sana ganito, sana ganiyan..', kahit parang sinuyod mo ang mga bundok, kagubatan at karagatan para sa taong un, para sa inyong dalawa..masaya pa rin ako sa pinatunguhan ng lahat. binabalikan ko ang mga alaalang ito hindi para saktan ang sarili, hindi para makaramdam ng emotional pain o ng lungkot. para sa akin mas matimbang ang mga masasayang alaala dahil kahit na gaanong kasakit ang nakaraan, itong mga masasayang alaalang ito ang makakapaglagay ng matatamis at kakilig-kilig na ngiti sa aking mga labi. hindi ko itinatanggi at itatanggi. uuy, 'wag mag-deny. hay, grahbeh na talga 'to.

siguro sasabihin mo, ng ibang tao: shit mahn, alalahanin ba ang past? suicidal ka? o sadyang masokista ka lang tlga? tsss..

tsong masayang bumalik sa nakaraan, kahit sa isipan lang...butinga un, alam ko sa sarili ko na alalang-alala ko ang mga nangyari dahil alam kong naging sobrang saya ako nung mga panahong iyon. sabi ko nga sa kaibigan ko, ang swerte ko't naranasan ko ung level of happiness na inaasam-asam ng marami. shet noh? imagine me saying that while breaking down...real hard. those were the days........were the days.

sa mga nangyayari sa mga nakalipas na araw...hindi lang pala ang tsismis, o si Darna, at Super Inggo ang lumilipad.....hindi ko namalayan.......

ang bilis lumipas ng panahon. lahat bahagi na ng nakaraan. ang bilis. hindi na maibabalik. ang pwede na lang gawin ay magbaliktanaw at magpasalamat na nangyari ang lahat, masaya man o malungkot, dahil sa totoo lang...ang daming aral ang napulot, na-realize na pagkakamali at pagkukulang, pero higit sa lahat ang naiambag sa pagkakatatag ng damdamin at sarili.

ngayon ko masasabi na talagang masaya ako maski dumaan ako sa oras ng lungkot. oo, minsan hindi ganun kaganda alalahanin ang nakaraan pero mehn, kung iisipin mo nga naman, happiness is happiness. make the most out of it diba. ang mga oras ng lungkot ay hanggang dun nalang. sabi nga ng isang psychologist (na hindi ko alam ang pangalan), "emotional pain lasts for 12 minutes. the rest is self-inflicted." ohdbah, masokista nga. may self-inflicted pa na nalalaman. kaya ayan, nasabihan ako ng maliit kong kaibigan kagabi, "Hindi mo ba kaya maging manhid?" sagot ko dyan... ayoko na maulit maging manhid. meron nasasaktan eh. (bitter!) :p kasalanan ko nanaman yan sa huli. tama na. nagpapakabait na nga ngayong college eh. sus.

lipad luu.. lipad. malaki ang kalawakan. pwede ka pa maging super-sayan. pero shempre, hindi magagwa yan kung wala ang mga kaibigan.

Mahal ko kayo mga kaibigan ko. pasensya na kung minsan ang simangot ko ay abot lupa o minsan ang katahimikan ko ay nakakabingi na. o kung minsan sadyang mei sayad lang ako. mga tinamaan ng topak moments. pero kahit ano pa mood ko, nakikiride lang kayo. salamat.

p.s: ang ibang parte ng 'entry' na ito ay galing sa multiply ng long lost bestplend ko. salamat salamat at hinayaan mo ako nakawin ito. :D

2007-02-27T15:42:00.000+08:00

Implications of a terrible disease called PRIDE..

--you always don't wanna be the one to do the first step to be with someone

--you always try to hide your feelings..

--you don't want others to know that you're hurt..

--you're afraid of telling someone that he is special

--you're afraid of losing someone but afraid to show it..

--you're afraid to love someone whom you think can't love you back..

--you're so aware of what others think that you can't do what you want..

--you're not happy..

--in the end, you lose everything without even trying to have it..

i guess Pride is my Sin. and that's what my friends have been telling me for years. but i know that i can still change whatever it is that's listed up there. i know it won't be easy, but i'll try. it'll take time but i have to be patient with myself.. or else i might screw up again.

first lesson for 2007 : Everything takes TIME. (and it took me more than a month to prove that to myself. :p)

i'm happy. :D

2007-02-22T00:23:00.000+08:00

There's a special level of comfort between two matching souls. An unbreakable bond of constant support and closeness. It's when a warm embrace feels so right.. and when you find comfort, you just know, you'll never let go..

2007-02-18T11:40:00.000+08:00

my blog is back. i'm back.

i've put it on private mode for a couple of weeks just to let someone see something. i have no idea if it was read or not. but it was there. i really have no clue.

for the past few weeks, i was left out. maybe the mistake i did was making a shell too tough, that i didn't want anyone get too close. that i showed to much independence that they wouldn't have to care for me at all. so when i do get hurt, no one would care when all i wanted was a simple hug. others get it for free, even without experienceing pain. but i get to settle with nothing. now it adds to my problems and makes it hurt even more. but still i have to keep this to myself. i don't want to be selfish by telling someone all my problems and end up making them sad too. my friends already look happy so i'll just smile with them.

if i could sum up all the causes of hurt, pain and hatred in one word, it's just expectation.

2007-01-25T17:09:00.000+08:00

i miss you... more than anything...