graduation is on the 27th of March. wow.

4th year college life = SACRIFICE
yep. i sacrificed a lot. this and that and.. well, a lot. but generally, i'm happy. :)
really. speechless after everything that has happened. more like a whirlwind of events.

to everyone. thank you and sorry for the lost time.
wow..

i'm numb
Justin Go. wag makulit!
one word that would sum up everything that i'm feeling right now:

*OUCH*
i'm too happy and i don't want confusion to get in the way. nakakainis lang.

be positive daw. and i got to look at things in a different way. thanks to M. thank you. your outlook in life helped me. again, thanks. :)

there is a difference between giving up and letting go..

letting go is sacrificing what was rightfully yours..

giving up is forgetting what was never yours..

ops! wala ako dyan. no comment muna. pero meron parin meaning. let's leave it at that nalang.


*lovin' the Olympics!
i'm waaay beyond the thinking phase.

i'm sooo ready it hurts.


why do i keep on wanting the people i can't have?

but i tried. truthfully tried. i don't want to give it my all kung wala rin naman patutunguhan..

but if the whole world and even nature is against me.. then i won't fight back..

hindi ko naman ipagpipilitan ang sarili ko.

maybe this letting go thing wasn't as easy as i thought.
just when i was starting to feel more...

and start thinking--knowing that it will work... that i'm up for fighting for it..

you gave me a reason to let go...

so there.. i'm letting go.
Another school year. i thought it might be a good time to blog again.

to start off... a song.

Cold[lay - Lost

Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I will cross

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I've tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one
And you'll be lost

Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the firing starts
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off…
see how bored i am...




anyhoo...

recap for the day...
morning.. woke up at 7. breakfast.movie.read.write.bathe.research.--lunch *pretty much the same. not being very productive again.
afternoon.. fun starts. fixed my stuff. went back to the dorm. went to Trinoma then SM North with D. helped him find something for K. pretty cool trip. got back around 8pm. stayed in school for a few minutes. dinner with D, M and N. hung out. kwento. pics with N. his new phone. aaand that was it. i'm beside L right now who's busy with minor subjects. D left his pack of chocnuts here. yes.. just the pack. no more chocnuts. i was supposed to throw it away. hmm.. what else.. everything is pretty much the same.


xs : i realized just now that there is a 1" hole on my shirt. on the left armpit. hahahaha. funny. ever the dugyot.

xxs : lets not mention names in this blog anymore. sooo.. i decided to do this ala gossip girl with all the first letters. well.. the book did give me an idea and kudos to the show!
INCUBUS

March 9, 2008, Sunday

"i can be singing a heart-wrenching song and at the same time thinking about soy cheese..."

-brandon boyd-

hahaha. wouldn't miss this for the world. Patron seats!!!!! sabi ni kuya sa stage kami uupo. sa paa ni brandon! i'm setting a countdown for this. plus im hoping to meet them in person. at least get a cd signed or take a picture with them. EXCITED!!!

time for a change of pace.
i miss Bora.
2007 Questions

1. Did you fall in love?
|| nope.idontreallyknow

2. Did you get any new best friends?
|| yes. a set of them.

3. Did you start dis-liking some one?
|| nope. no one

4. Did you get your heart broken?
|| Nopenotreally.

5. If you could change some thing about this past year, what would it be?
|| IF i could.

6. Are you happy of how things turned out?
|| ... Not exactly haha. :)

7. Did you get any tattoos? Where and what of?
|| nope. not really planning to

8. Did you get any thing pierced? Where?
|| too many piercings already

9. What's your new favorite color(s)?
|| samesame. redbluewhiteblack.

10. Did you do any thing life changing?
|| Uh...

11. Favorite piece of clothing?
|| does the ipanema slippers count? thanks marc!

12. Did you go to any parties?
|| yeap. lots.

13. Did you have any surgeries?
|| nextyearmaybe.

14. Do you like our president?
|| she's okay. like the-lesser-evil-okay

15. Do you support our troops?
|| Um...

16. Were you in the relay for life?
|| Was I?

17. Did you get engaged/married?
|| I haven't peaked yet. so...no.

18.
|| *blank stare*

19. What's your favorite thing (s) you got for Christmas this year?
|| the "WOEH" shirt, ipanema slippers. plus socks and chocolates! woopi!

20. What's the thing you want the most this year for Christmas?
|| de-cluttering! :p

21. Has any body you loved passed away?
|| goodthingnone.

22. How's school going so far?
|| ....

23. Did you get any pets this year?
|| weeell we got a hamster for 500 pesos. the Russian one. and can even fit in my pocket.

24. Did you have any "new" members added to your family?
|| Hamstie!

25. What's your favorite song?
|| i have one?

26. Who's your favorite band?
|| incubus

27. Favorite person in your family?
|| everyone

28. Have you had a job?
|| it's not really a job coz i don't get paid.

29. Have you been arrested?
|| Nope.

30. Have you been in trouble?
|| Seriously in trouble? Loads of times this year.

31. Have you thought about suicide/murder?
|| Hmm...

32. Are you emo?
|| Finding Emo!

33. Favorite trend of the year?
|| *blank stare*

34. What decade do you wish you could live in?
|| I'm fie with 'now'

36. Do you have a crush on someone?
|| does celebrity crush count?

37. Favorite quote/saying?
|| oh loads.

38. New Year's resolution?
|| Don't make the same mistakes again.
just gotta put this here.

nov. 19, 2007. another Sleepless Paskuhan. (as in walang tulugan) missed the fireworks tho. tambay kwento til 5.30am breakfast at mcdo. aaaand. that's it. hindi nman kami masyado nagbonding ni nis. hindeee.

last na. i've been doing too much shopping. the people at tiendesitas know me already coz i was there last night and i went back just this morning. it's 4pm. i'm at home. but who says i'm not going out again later? :p


.lalabs.
there comes a point in your life when you're officially an adult. suddenly you're old enough to vote, drink and engage in other adult activities. suddenly people expect you to be responsible. serious. all grown up. we get taller, we get older. but do we ever really grow up?

in some ways we grow up. we have families, we get married, we get separated. but for the most part, we still have the same problems we did when we were 15. no matter how much we grow taller, grow older, we are still forever stumbling. forever wondering. forever young.


i'll greet myself a happy birthday when i get what i've been wanting for for the past few months. but i know it's never that easy. it's never as simple as what some would expect.

for my birthday.. i want 'de-cluttering'. wait scratch that. i need 'de-cluttering'.

i am a coward. i admit to that. let the pride go down. i.dont.care.
a week and a half. i'm not complaining. it's been a good week. not too hectic. not quite what i expected. but it was good. contentedly good. some things are the same. some changed. different.

i watched good luck chuck and got this insane idea. seriously. i checked... bka naman it works for me too! hahahaha okay. back to reality. just kidding.. pero malay mo.... :p

yeah. i admit. i'm being veeery secretive for the past few days. seeecreeet kung bakit! :p

red. kung nasaan ka man... movie tomorrow.. sorry. cant go. nagpromise na kasi ako sa isang 'thing' bukas eh.. :( pero gsto ko talaga manood Beowulf. sabi na kahapon dapat eh! next time talaga. pramissss.

. . . .
this was a happy sembreak. a fun, happy, steady sembreak. alaykit.

this is going to be my last entry for the sembreak. so why not cap it all off with a pathetic survey from trusty friendster? :p

A Vegetable
- pumpkin

An Animal
- a siberian tiger or an albino python

A Fruit
- mango

A Color
- red

A Household Object
- teevee

Articl e of Clothing
- a polo shirt.

A Drink
- green mango shake

A Famous Person
- richard nixon

A Film Character
- lara croft

A Cartoon Character
- the untalkative bunny! haha

A Car
- hummer x3

A City
- manila

A Country
- Philippines

A Mythical Creature
- a Lamia.

A Chocolate Bar
- any dark chocolate will do

A Book
- the catcher in the rye

A Sport
- basketball

A Word
- the

One of Your Family
- myself

--------------til the next entry------ takuyaki for me later---------

LaLAbS
this is not considered as "namamangka" diba? diba?







i can fix other people's problems but can't fix mine.. i guess i'll forever be the girl-next-door.
nakakalungkot naman.



actually this is true. i watched the whole piece and you can really see moves from the allstars and blueprint. it's just sad. the allstars worked hard so the filipino dance community can truly be recognized yet here comes some people who are just too lazy to make their own choreography. don't get me wrong, they've got talent. they really do. but PLEASE think of your own choreo. it's simply releasing your creativity and expressing yourself through your dance. don't create a piece for the sake of winning. do it for yourself and the dude up above. He gave you the skills and i think He's pretty much expecting you to use it right.

Dance with the music. Dance with the beat of your heart.
going out is turning into a normal occurence for me. lemme see... in the whole 2 weeks since the end of classes, i've stayed at home (the whole day) for about.. 3 days? and im not saying in three consecutive days. staying put in the house is turning out to be a dilemma coz with everyone here at home, they could just ask me to go with them and afterwards i'd find myself going on a roadtrip or mallhopping. plus there's going out with some people too of course but good thing it only involves a squishy chair, some popcorn and a free movie.

i guess this makes up for the supposed to be diving trip. maybe that's why my parents are letting me go out all the time with no questions asked. whatever. i still tell them where i go and who i go out with anyway. at least they'll know, right. plus i've been reunited with my phone. cool.
---------------------------------------anyhoo-------------

sembreak dork update :
read 6 books. just started on the 7th. 1 pugadbaboy. finished crosswords. guitar hero. done a bit of reviewing (i have no idea why) aaaaaand... keeping updated on the current events.

-----------------------------------dork--------------------
Forgive and forget. that's what they say. it's good advice but it's not very practical. when someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. when someone wrongs us, we want to be right. without forgivenes, old scores are never be settled. old wounds never heal. and the most we can hope for is that one day, we'll be lucky enough to forget.

------------------------------------------------

what happened today is beyond evil. when i heard the news, my mind instantly thought of six people. i texted them and asked where they were at that time and thankfully everyone replied after a few minutes except for one. i don't know why i asked them but i just thought i had to. i needed to. i was worried. i had to text the last person twice just so i can stop bad thoughts from running in my mind. dammit. i was worried the whole time until i got a reply. i just want everyone to be safe..
there are more than a dozen thoughts running in my mind right now but somehow i can't get the right words to say them all.

one of my closest friends will be leaving. a part of the tropa might not come back. and here i am, trying to hold on to whatever's left of a missed friendship..

i tried to shove all the news at the back of my mind just so i can focus on my studies. (and i can't say i did an excellent job at it) but now that classes are over, everything just dawned on me. add personal problems to that and i'm all set for a breakdown. good thing that one night during exam week was contained at some point. thank you. tama ka, palaban parin dapat ako. hindi pwede maging weak. not now.

no more wishful thinking. reality check nalang lagi. wag nyo lang ako sabihan ng "ganyan talaga ang buhay". ayaw ko. nakakainis.

life is just starting to turn into a trainwreck and all the bolts are turning loose.
a picture i found while rummaging through my files..

we all looked like kids. first year in college.

i'd give anything to turn back time
The thing about addiction is, it never ends well. becuase eventually, whatever it is that gets us high stops feeling good and starts to hurt. still, they say you don't kick the habit until you're rock bottom. but how do you know when you're there? because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes letting it go is even worse.

Circle

They asked me a question. I answered it. Just because...


How do you know when you love a person?


Love is something that turns you away from yourself. Your decisions are for other people, like for your significant other. Sometimes, you are not even part of that decision. Love is making Sacrifices cheerfully and it takes serious commitment (and practice!) to do it.

it was the different phases of our lives that got us together. everything just fit right into place.

The Circle = Derrick, Nisan, Lu, Maike, Reeve SACRIFICE!

Keep Love Real.
no doubt. no fear. no regret. just love..
i've gone soft...

crying sucks.. bigtime.

and this is something new.


people are there even at times when you don't need them. they're just...there.
but at that exact time when i badly needed someone to talk to.. nobody was there..


bring.it.on.